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When Can a Child Decide Which Parent They Want to Live With in Australia?

Writer: Byron Lawyers GroupByron Lawyers Group

Updated: 7 days ago

In Australia, there is no set legal age at which a child can independently decide which parent they wish to live with. Decisions regarding a child’s living arrangements are guided by the Family Law Act 1975, which prioritises the best interests of the child. While a child’s opinion is taken into account, it is not the only determining factor. Courts consider various elements, such as the child’s age, level of maturity, and the reasons for their preferences, when making custody arrangements.



Table of Contents

  • Understanding the Role of Age and Maturity

    • Children Under 12

    • Children Aged 12 to 14

    • Children Aged 14 and Older

    • Children Aged 16 and Above

  • Factors Influencing Custody Decisions

    • Age and Maturity

    • Reasons Behind the Preference

    • Emotional and Psychological Well-Being

  • Role of Professional Assessments

  • Can a Child Refuse to Visit a Parent?

  • Balancing Preferences with Best Interests

  • Best Interests Take Precedence



Understanding the Role of Age and Maturity


The ability of a child to make an informed choice about their living arrangements largely depends on their age and maturity. Courts understand that each child is unique, and their capacity to comprehend the implications of their decisions varies.


Children Under 12

  • Views Are Considered but Not Decisive: For children younger than 12, their ability to provide well-informed input on their living arrangements is often limited. However, courts may consider their views, especially if they are part of a family with older siblings.

  • Focus on Needs Over Wishes: The court places more emphasis on creating an environment that supports the child’s emotional, physical, and developmental needs rather than granting their preferences.

  • Expert Evaluations: Professionals, such as psychologists or social workers, may conduct interviews to understand the child’s perspective in a safe and neutral setting.


Children Aged 12 to 14

  • Increasing Weight to Preferences: From around 12 years of age, a child’s opinions are given more consideration. If the child can articulate logical and mature reasons—such as proximity to school or emotional comfort—the court is likely to take them seriously.

  • Assessment of Overall Well-Being: While the child’s wishes are important, the court continues to evaluate whether those preferences align with their overall best interests, including emotional stability and safety.


Children Aged 14 and Older

  • Significant Influence: By 14, a child’s preferences carry substantial weight in custody decisions, provided they can offer thoughtful and valid reasons. Courts are more likely to respect their wishes unless there are compelling concerns, such as safety risks or parental manipulation.

  • Best Interests Remain Paramount: The court balances the child’s autonomy with their need for a supportive and nurturing environment.


Children Aged 16 and Above

  • Autonomy Is Typically Respected: By the age of 16, courts are generally reluctant to make custody orders that contradict a child’s wishes. Most teenagers at this age exercise significant autonomy in deciding where they feel most comfortable living.

  • Limited Court Intervention: Unless there are pressing concerns, such as the risk of harm, the court often refrains from intervening in the living arrangements of older teenagers.



Factors Influencing Custody Decisions

When deciding how much weight to give a child’s preferences, Australian courts evaluate a range of factors:


1. Age and Maturity

  • Older Children’s Preferences Matter More: Teenagers are generally seen as more capable of understanding the consequences of their choices. Courts may assign greater weight to their views compared to those of younger children.

  • Reasoned Decisions Are Key: A mature child who provides a logical explanation for their preference is more likely to have their opinion respected.


2. Reasons Behind the Preference

  • Genuine Motivations: Preferences based on meaningful reasons, such as emotional well-being, stability, or educational benefits, are taken more seriously.

  • Guarding Against Manipulation: Courts remain vigilant for signs of undue influence, where a parent may pressure the child into choosing sides. If such behaviour is detected, the court may discount the child’s stated wishes.


3. Emotional and Psychological Well-Being

  • Ensuring Stability: A child’s emotional and psychological health is a primary concern. If a preference could negatively impact their well-being, the court may overrule it, regardless of the child’s age.

  • Tailored Decisions: Courts strive to make decisions that foster the child’s overall happiness, development, and sense of security.



Role of Professional Assessments

To assist in evaluating the child’s preferences and well-being, courts often rely on family consultants, psychologists, or social workers. These professionals conduct interviews, observe family dynamics, and compile findings in family reports. These reports are invaluable in providing impartial insights into the child’s emotional state and relationships with each parent.


  • Family Reports: Commonly used in cases involving children over five years old, these documents offer an objective analysis of the child’s circumstances, helping the court make informed decisions.


  • Expert Recommendations: Consultants may suggest arrangements that best support the child’s needs and interests, even if those recommendations differ from the child’s expressed preferences.



Can a Child Refuse to Visit a Parent?

The ability of a child to decline visits with a parent depends on their age, maturity, and the reasons for their reluctance. For instance:


  • Older Children (e.g., 16+): Their wishes are usually respected unless their reasons are deemed frivolous or harmful.

  • Younger Children: Valid concerns, such as emotional distress or safety issues, are given significant weight, even for children under 12.


Courts investigate whether a child’s refusal is influenced by genuine concerns or external pressures, such as manipulation by one parent.



Balancing Preferences with Best Interests

To determine the weight of a child’s preference, courts apply a two-fold test:


  1. Age: Older children are generally more likely to have their wishes considered.

  2. Maturity: The child’s ability to understand the implications of their choice is evaluated, often with input from family consultants.



Best Interests Take Precedence

In Australia, while a child’s views are considered in custody decisions, the overriding priority remains their best interests. Courts carefully balance the child’s maturity, reasoning, and emotional well-being, often seeking professional guidance to ensure sound decisions are made.


If your child has expressed a preference regarding their living arrangements, consulting an expert family lawyer is essential. They can guide you through the legal process, ensuring your child’s needs are safeguarded while navigating the complexities of custody arrangements. At Byron Lawyers Group, we have a caring team of Family lawyers in both Blacktown and Sydney CBD


If you need legal advice or representation regarding child custody issues or any other legal matter, contact Byron Lawyers Group at (02) 8866 4810 or email info@byronlawyersgroup.com.au


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